ESSAYPRACTICE AND PERFORM THESE EVALUATIONS, THE BETTER YOU’LLUSE THE...
Section 1: Essaypractice and perform these evaluations, the better you’llUse the following rubric to evaluate your writing. Thisunderstand exactly what your scorers are looking for.practice essay is included so you can work on time man-6
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Demonstrates outstanding writing skills■
Includes a clear and insightful point of view on the question and reflects excellent critical think-ing, using strong examples and other evidence to support this point of view■
Contains a strong organization and focus, a clear sense of unity, and a skillful flow of ideas■
Demonstrates a strong command of language, with varied and appropriate word choice, andmeaningful variation in sentence structure■
Contains few, if any, errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics5■
Demonstrates effective writing skills■
Includes a clear point of view on the question and reflects strong critical thinking, using goodexamples and other evidence to support this point of view■
Contains strong organization and focus, a sense of unity, and a flow of ideas■
Demonstrates a good command of language, with appropriate word choices and variation insentence structure■
Contains few errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics4■
Demonstrates competent writing skills, but the quality of the writing may be inconsistent■
Includes a point of view on the question and reflects competent critical thinking, using sufficientexamples to support this point of view■
Contains a general organizational plan and focus, with some unity and flow of ideas■
appropriate word choice and some variation in sentence structure■
Contains some errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics3■
Demonstrates inadequate, but not incompetent, writing skills■
Includes a point of view on the question, reflecting some critical thinking, but this point of viewmay be inconsistent or incomplete, and support may be lacking■
Contains a limited organizational strategy and focus, with a weak or inconsistent sense of unityand flow of ideas■
Demonstrates a developing but weak command of language, with weak or inappropriate vocabu-lary, little or no variation in sentence structure, and may contain errors in sentence construction■
Contains many errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics2■
Demonstrates limited writing skills and may contain serious flaws■
Includes a limited or vague point of view on the question and reflects poor critical thinking,using inadequate or irrelevant examples or other support■
Displays a weak sense of organization and/or focus, and may lack unity and/or flow of ideas■
Demonstrates an inadequate command of language, with limited or incorrect vocabulary, andincorrect or flawed sentence structure■
Contains serious errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics that may make the writing difficult tounderstand1■
Demonstrates incompetence in writing and contains serious flaws■
Does not contain a point of view on the question, or provides little or no support for the pointof view■
Lacks organization and/or focus, unity, and a flow of ideas■
Contains serious errors in vocabulary and sentence structure■
Contains serious errors in grammar, usage, and/or mechanics that make the writing difficult to0■
An essay that does not answer the question, or is blank, receives a zero.(Adapted from The College Board)Here are examples of a couple of essays written on therending anguish, as she holds her dead baby. A sol-assignment:dier lies dead on the ground, clutching his brokensword, and three other people are shown in shockand agony. Animals, including a tortured horse andYou might think a memorable picture would havevivid color, an appealing or inspirational theme, or bea crying bird, are also portrayed as innocent victimsof the massacre.something you might want to display and look atevery day. That is not the case with the pictureSome symbols are open to interpretation.What is the meaning of the bull, which seems sim-that is most memorable to me. Rather, it is a largeply to be observing, or of the light bulb emitting raysmural, painted in 1937 by the Spanish artist, Pabloat the top of the mural? Does the bull symbolizePicasso, to protest the bombing of a small village innorthern Spain.brute force, and does the light bulb signify thatthere is hope? Yet there is no doubt that the dis-Surprisingly, there is no vivid red color to showthe flowing blood. One must imagine this, for thetorted, horrible images are intended to shock theviewer. This depiction of human grief is a profoundmural is startlingly gray, black, and white. But thereis no avoiding the horror of the images. The figuresstatement of the cruelty and senselessness ofwar. Limiting the pictures to black and white addsare not realistically drawn, but are cubist anda funereal element to the shocking depiction of theabstract, and it is apparent that innocent civilianscatastrophe.are being slaughtered. A mother screams with hermouth wide open, her head tipped back in heart-The memory of the picture cannot be forgotten;This picture could be for any war it doesn’tit is a metaphor for the senselessness and thematter. In that way it is a universal message. Therehorror of war. While it was painted to protest atroc-is not anything in the picture that tells you whereities in a long ago war, it is as relevant today as theit is happening. You don’t know who the people are.recollection of the horrors of September 11th. Per-There are wars happening today. People suffer nowlike in Guernica. You remember it because it makeshaps it should be shown to all those who contem-plate starting a war. Would it be worth it to haveyou upset and you wish there would never be a war.another Guernica?Then people wouldn’t have to suffer. This picture ismemorable because you remember how the peoplesuffered and they probly didn’t do anything.This essay received a score of 5. While the writingskills are effective, the organization could be improved.For example, the fact that the painting is black andThis essay received a 3. Organizationally, it hasthree paragraphs that each contains a main idea. How-white is mentioned in the second and third paragraphs,both times noting how the color choice adds to theever, two of them also include the introduction andconclusion. While they don’t detract from or confusemood of the painting. Paragraph three has a number ofthe author’s ideas, there are numerous errors in gram-major points; it would be less confusing if each pointhad its own paragraph.mar and spelling. Most sentences are very short, and thelack of variety detracts from the essay. A strong pointThere is a clear point of view, and the writer hasof view is maintained, but it gets lost in the unsophis-obviously studied not only the painting, but the lan-guage of art criticism as well. Examples are well chosenticated and overly informal vocabulary.and numerous. Word choice is varied and sophisti-