EXERCISE 2. REWRITE THE FOLLOWING SELECTIONS TO MAKE THEM MORE CONCISE...

10. I fixed up each and every last one of my wrong mistakes before I saved the file.

Clarity and Specificity

Write clearly as well as concisely. Here are some errors to avoid.

Unclear Antecedents

Make certain that a pronoun has a clear antecedent (see pages 52–54 in Part One and

page 196 in Part Three). Reword the sentences or supply a needed noun.

CONFUSING

: Use that towel to wipe your face and put it in the clothes

hamper.

(The face or the towel?)

CLEAR

: Use that towel to wipe your face and put the towel in the

clothes hamper.

CONFUSING

: If papers are left behind by sloppy hikers, burn them.

(The papers or the hikers?)

CLEAR

: Any papers left behind by sloppy hikers should be

burned.

If necessary, quote the speaker’s actual words to make the meaning clearer.

CONFUSING

: Linda told her mother that she had left the lawn sprin-

klers on.

(Is the antecedent of “she” Linda or her mother?)

CLEAR

: Linda told her mother, “I left the lawn sprinklers on.”

Dangling Modifiers

A modifier dangles if it is placed so that it seems to modify a word it was not intended

to modify. Put a modifier close to the word it modifies. Sometimes the word itself must be

supplied.

DANGLING

: Turning the corner, the post office was on the left.

(The post office was not turning the corner.)

CLEAR

: Turning the corner, I noticed the post office on my left.

CLEAR

: As I turned the corner, I noticed the post office on my

left.

CONFUSING

: Tracy saw a deer riding her bike through the Hopkins

meadow.

(A deer riding a bike?)

CLEAR

: Riding her bike through the Hopkins meadow, Tracy

saw a deer.

CONFUSING

: At the age of three, Mario’s mother remarried.

(At the age of three, Mario’s mother could not have al-

ready had Mario, let alone be remarrying.)

CLEAR

: When Mario was three, his mother remarried.

CONFUSING

: While working in the library, a new shipment of books

arrived.

(The books are not working; the library worker is.)

CLEAR

: While I was working in the library, a new shipment of

books arrived.

CONFUSING

: At the party, packages were given to all the children

filled with Halloween candy.

(The children may be filled later!)

CLEAR

: At the party, packages filled with Halloween candy

were given to all the children.

Inaccurate Connectives

Use the connective that expresses your thought accurately.

CONFUSING

: I wanted to go skating, and Angela preferred hiking.

CLEAR

: I wanted to go skating, but Angela preferred hiking.

CONFUSING

: Because Ben was on a visit to his ill grandmother, he

still got his term paper in on time.

CLEAR

: Although Ben was on a visit to his ill grandmother, he

The Inexact Word

Be sure to choose the word that expresses your thought accurately.

CONFUSING

: Our Saturday project is to install all broken windows in

the school.

CLEAR

: Our Saturday project is to replace all broken windows in

CONFUSING

: Don’t fail to miss tonight’s rerun of The Simpsons.

CLEAR

: Don’t miss tonight’s rerun of The Simpsons.

CLEAR

: Don’t fail to see tonight’s rerun of The Simpsons.