DENISE IS MORE QUICKER THAN ANYONE ELSE ON THE TEAM.MATTERS OF CLA...

10. Denise is more quicker than anyone else on the team.Matters of Clarity and StyleThree grammatical issues can make the difference between clear, smooth sentences and sentences that areclunky and confusing: misplaced or dangling modifiers, parallel structure, and wordiness and redundancy.

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ISPLACED AND

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Be sure to place words, phrases, or clauses that describe nouns and pronouns as closely as possible to thewords they describe. Failure to do this often results in a misplacedor dangling modifierand a sentence thatmeans something other than what was intended. This is especially problematic with phrases and clauses thatwork as modifiers. Take a look at the following sentence, for example:Swinging from branch to branch, I saw the spider monkey.It’s quite obvious that it was the monkey, not the speaker, who was swinging from branch to branch.But because the modifier (swinging from branch to branch) isn’t right next to what it modifies (the spider mon-key), the sentence actually says that I was swinging from branch to branch. Here’s the corrected version:I saw the spider monkey swinging from branch to branch.Sometimes these errors can be corrected simply by moving the modifier to the right place. Other times,you may need to add a subject and verb to clarify who or what is modified by the phrase. Here are some moreexamples of misplaced and dangling modifiers and their corrections:Incorrect: My uncle told me about feeding cattle in the kitchen.Correct: In the kitchen, my uncle told me about feeding cattle.Incorrect: Broken and beyond repair, Grandma threw the dish away.Correct: Grandma threw away the dish that was broken and beyond repair.Incorrect: While driving to school, the dog ran right in front of my car.Correct: The dog ran right in front of my car while I was driving to school.

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Parallel structure in sentences makes ideas easier to follow and expresses ideas more gracefully. Parallel struc-ture means that words and phrases in the sentence follow the same grammatical pattern. Notice how thisworks in the following examples:Not parallel: Every day I wrote, exercised, and was meditating.(Two verbs are in the past tense, one is a past participle.)Parallel: Every day I wrote, exercised, and meditated.(All three verbs are in the past tense.)Not parallel: I am looking for an assistant who is smart, reliable, and will come on time.(Two of the characteristics are adjectives while the third consists of a verb phraseand prepositional phrase.)Parallel: I am looking for an assistant who is smart, reliable, and punctual.(All three characteristics are adjectives.)Parallelism is important in lists, as in the examples above, and in the not only/but also sentence pattern.He assured me that he not only saved the file, but also created a back-up.(Each phrase has a past tense verb and a noun)The failure was caused not only by an unintentional error but also by a deliberate miscommunication.(Each phrase has a preposition, an adjective, and a noun)

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EDUNDANCY AND

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^ORDINESS

Some TOEFL exam questions may ask you to identify or eliminate redundancyor unnecessary wordinesswithin sentences. Redundancy is the unnecessary repetition of ideas. Wordiness is the use of several wordswhen a few can express the same idea more clearly and concisely. These two problems typically result fromthree different causes:

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The use of unnecessary words or phrases.Redundant: The room was red in color.Correct: The room was red.

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Unnecessary repetition of nouns or pronouns.Redundant: Thelma she ran into her room and slammed the door.Correct: Thelma ran into her room and slammed the door.

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The use of wordy phrases instead of adverbs.Wordy: He looked at me in a threatening manner.Concise: He looked at me threateningly.The following sentences all have unnecessary repetition or wordiness. Unnecessary words have beenstricken:I returned back to my room after the meeting was over.Please repeat again what you said.The waiters and waitresses they really take care of you here.Fundraising it provides just enough money for us to function.The circumstances are very delicate in nature.It was a story that was difficult to tell. Correction: It was a difficult story to tell.

Practice 7

Rewrite the following sentences to correct any misplaced or dangling modifiers, unparallel structure, wordi-ness, or redundancy. You will find the Answer Key in Appendix A.