EXERCISE 17. IMPROVE THESE SENTENCES BY USING VERBALS FOR SOME OF THE...

10. She invited her friends over after she cooked a huge pot of spaghetti.

Unity

Be sure that every part of a sentence is related to one main idea. Correct a lack of unity

by breaking a sentence into shorter sentences or by subordinating one part of a sentence to

a main part. (See pages 140–142, 152, and 166–170.)

LACKING UNITY

: The cockroach is a survivor, and the body can sur-

vive for weeks if the head is carefully removed.

HAVING UNITY

: The cockroach is a survivor. The body can survive

for weeks if the head is carefully removed.

LACKING UNITY

: The ancestors of the horse were only a foot tall, and

modern Percherons may stand over five feet at the

shoulders.

HAVING UNITY

: Although the ancestors of the horse were only a

foot tall, modern Percherons may stand over five

feet at the shoulders.

Overlapping Construction

Avoid a series of that, which, or who clauses. Too many make a sentence unwieldy.

UNWIELDY

: In the 1860s, a New York firm offered a prize which

would be awarded for a satisfactory substitute for

ivory which was used in the manufacture of billiard

balls which were in demand because of the growing

popularity of billiards.

MANAGEABLE

: In the 1860s, a New York firm offered a prize for an

ivory substitute. Ivory had been used in the manu-

facture of billiard balls for the increasingly popular

game of billiards.

Parallel Structure

Be sure items are parallel. Ordinarily, and and but connect like grammatical ele-

ments—for example, two or more nouns, verbs, adjectives, phrases, or clauses.

NOT PARALLEL

: At camp, we most enjoyed swimming, hiking, and

how to play volleyball.

PARALLEL

: At camp, we most enjoyed swimming, hiking, and

playing volleyball.

NOT PARALLEL

: Our dog Jolly is tiny, a rich brown coat, and a perky

disposition.

PARALLEL

: Our dog Jolly is tiny, wears a rich brown coat, and

has a perky disposition.

NOT PARALLEL

: A good driver obeys the speed limit, is alert, and

she takes no risks on the road.

PARALLEL

: A good driver obeys the speed limit, is alert, and

takes no risks on the road.