3. Use examples as the basis of your argument e.g. free university education ensures
equality of opportunity, and therefore allows individuals to achieve more.
If you try writing an essay for this question, you can compare your essay with my
answer next Wednesday. I'm afraid I can't check essays or give scores.
Note: 'egalitarian' refers to the principle that people are equal, and deserve equal
rights and opportunities.
Here's my full (band 9) essay for last week's question.
In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality
and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more
in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are
possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual
merits.
What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?
In my opinion, an egalitarian society is one in which everyone has the same rights and
the same opportunities. I completely agree that people can achieve more in this kind
of society.
Education is an important factor with regard to personal success in life. I believe that
all children should have access to free schooling, and higher education should be
either free or affordable for all those who chose to pursue a university degree. In a
society without free schooling or affordable higher education, only children and
young adults from wealthier families would have access to the best learning
opportunities, and they would therefore be better prepared for the job market. This
kind of inequality would ensure the success of some but harm the prospects of others.
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I would argue that equal rights and opportunities are not in conflict with people’s
freedom to succeed or fail. In other words, equality does not mean that people lose
their motivation to succeed, or that they are not allowed to fail. On the contrary, I
believe that most people would feel more motivated to work hard and reach their
potential if they thought that they lived in a fair society. Those who did not make the
same effort would know that they had wasted their opportunity. Inequality, on the
other hand, would be more likely to demotivate people because they would know that
the odds of success were stacked in favour of those from privileged backgrounds.
In conclusion, it seems to me that there is a positive relationship between equality and
personal success.
(260 words)
Note:
I'm not sure that this was a 'real' IELTS question (maybe the student who sent it to me
remembered it wrongly) because it is a bit confusing: it seems strange to me to imply
that "egalitarian/equality" is the opposite of "free to succeed or fail". Anyway, I hope
you still find the essay useful.
Before you start writing your task 2 essay, you need a plan:
Bạn đang xem 3. - IELTS ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 2 BY SIMON
